btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
