Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize