I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
