i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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