Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
ttyl tear gas
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
