Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize