Do you still have your period?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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