I have demons in me.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just want to make out with him forever
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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