wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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