He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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