I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize