Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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