Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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