He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
