We need to rekindle our bromance
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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