She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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