they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
