I'm eating all of the evidence.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
