Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize