You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
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Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
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You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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