i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
