I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
