Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Green mimosas i think yes
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
