We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We're too hungover to prance.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
