So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
