i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
