if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
