We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
