Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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