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Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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