One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
