I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Barsexuality is the new black.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
