Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
