Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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