piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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