Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
