We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
