i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
