My balls are so social today.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
