Whod you bang
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
