No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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