If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
