I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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