I think I am morally bankrupt
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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