thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
