I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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