So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
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