Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she looked like the before picture.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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