butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
