Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize