I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm way too hungover for life right now
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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