I hate your face
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
ok first of all what the fuck
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
