pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
