I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize