i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I enjoy the company of your penis
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
