yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
ok first of all what the fuck
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
