The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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