you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
