Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
