I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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