Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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