Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
