Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
