He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize