I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize