Already got asked if we're dating
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize